We are called victim-survivors because the sad reality is that not every child survives their abuse. Sometimes victims are murdered as a result of the assaults, but more often they suffer self-harm and addictions in later life which lead to suicide or other forms of premature death.  

Characteristically victim-survivors are stigmatised.  They:

• Are generally disbelieved
• Feel shame and embarrassment
• Are often pressed to remain silent by family members and others
• Are blamed for somehow inviting their abuse
• Suffer lifelong harms – self harm, addictions, criminalisation
• Are re-traumatised as a result of criticism post-disclosure
• Often take decades to disclose (particularly men)
• Have their motives questioned e.g. labelled attention seekers/ gold diggers/ fantasists/ being selfish!

While victims tend to share attributes that render them targets for groups of paedophiles, each will have a different experience. Some report the protective effect of having a supportive family, while others feel their abuse was compounded by home circumstances that added to their trauma.  Children in out-of-home care were and continue to be those most vulnerable to abuse and will likely experience the worst outcomes in later life.

Importantly as a community we need to acknowledge the ‘ripple effect’ that sees people beyond the victims impacted.  CSA incurs an immeasurable emotional load on a family, and a wider community, especially where there is pressure to remain silent.

Conversation starters?

1. You will most likely know of someone who has been impacted by CSA. How might you support them?
2. If you have been personally impacted, would you consider seeking support from Sexual Assault Support Services like Laurel House?